just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
