i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it glows. i had to have it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
