my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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