My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
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This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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