forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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