it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
