dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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