idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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