are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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