is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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