I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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