I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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