I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
