ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
