is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
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Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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