so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize