quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
