I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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