No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
