we're making bets on your personal life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
