you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
50% drunk capacity currently
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize