so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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