My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize