Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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