JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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