Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
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i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.