Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong