Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
