SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole