do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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