How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
