Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
