So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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