I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
