This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
