I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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