i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
