i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
this boner is exhausting
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
