This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
