i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
