How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
