Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
