Whod you bang
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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