New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
