I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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