Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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