just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
