I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
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I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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