is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize