please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
