Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
