at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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