How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
