why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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