i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
