my being single is dangerous.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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