That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This baby is an asshole
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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