this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
