She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
