Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize