Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
