it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
did i walk over a car last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
