yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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