I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
3pm strippers are depressing
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
