We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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