Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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