Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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