We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So much rum. So many feels.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
