I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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